Dating Over 50 is Actually The Best Time

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Most women I talk to say something like,

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I never thought I’d be here over 40 in dating,

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over 50 in dating, over 60 and dating.

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This is not where I thought my life would be.

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And let’s be honest, when women talk about dating at

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midlife, it’s usually with dread.

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You imagine balding men with ed

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carrying potbellies bad habits and baggage.

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It can feel like the dating pool is more like a puddle slim

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pickens and diminishing returns.

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You know exactly what I’m talking about.

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But here’s the truth. There are plenty

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of successful healthy men

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who want the same things that you do.

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And dating as a achieving woman over 50 is actually the very

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best time in your life

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to be dating if you know how to approach it.

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And that’s what we are gonna get into today.

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Hey, welcome back, and if you’re new here,

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I’m Hilary Silver, former therapist turned master coach

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of 25 years and the founder of Ready For Love.

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We are the longest running and most successful love

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and relationship coaching program for high achieving women.

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We help high performing women like you finally get

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everything that you want in love

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and in life by turning your attention inward.

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Because getting everything

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that you want always starts with you.

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And by the way, this is not another channel about how

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to change yourself so that you can be chosen.

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It’s about becoming so whole and grounded

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and self-led that you choose what

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and who gets to be in your life.

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If that sounds like your kind of vibe

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and what you’ve been looking for, make sure to subscribe

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and watch my free masterclass on my proven four step

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ready for love method.

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You can find it at ready for love inc.com/masterclass.

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Okay, so let’s talk about dating over 50.

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Really, it’s more like dating midlife

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and why it’s just not still possible,

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but why it is actually the best time in your life

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to find real love.

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Reason number one, you’re not just older.

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Time has aged you in the best of ways.

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You have the benefit now

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of showing up in your love life with maturity.

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You’re not naive, impulsive and self-doubting.

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Instead, you’ve learned to trust yourself and be patient.

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You don’t rush into things, but take your time

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because you know it takes time to really fully know someone.

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You have clarity. You know exactly who you are, all

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of your strengths and your flaws and your faults

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and your insecurities and your triggers and patterns.

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It’s like standing in a 360 degree mirrored room.

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You see it all and you really know yourself.

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This self-awareness is the only way to understand the kind

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of partner that’s best for you.

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You know what you really need and want

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and trust yourself to never settle ever again.

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So now you’re not chasing chemistry,

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but instead looking for character.

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And you don’t fall for charm.

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You expect compatibility

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and in more than just the surface level ways,

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and you’re healed healthy

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and whole, having resolved some of your core wounds,

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and you’ve accepted responsibility for your patterns

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and choices along the way so you’re not attracting

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or drawn to those who haven’t done their work.

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And you’re attracting men who are also healthy and whole

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because remember, like attracts like.

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So bottom line here, you’re a grownup.

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You’re not just older, you’re mature, you’re seasoned,

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and you’re wise, and that kind of wisdom

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and clarity is vital.

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So rather than seeing this as old people dating, see it

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as dating as the very best version of yourself,

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something the younger version of you had yet to become.

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And when two grown whole people come together, it’s magic.

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Reason number two, you don’t need a man.

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You want a true equal partner to share your life with.

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So you’re approaching your love life from a place of desire,

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and it’s an entirely different vibe.

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So let’s be honest, in your twenties

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or thirties, you probably needed a partner for safety,

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for stability, for children, for financial support

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and interdependence, for validation

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of your deservability and enoughness.

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Not that that’s what we want,

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but that’s definitely where most

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of us were at that time in our lives.

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And also to fulfill the master plan

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of creating the life everyone expected you to live.

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I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard both men

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and women say, I got married

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because it was the next expected thing to do.

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But now you’ve built your own life.

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You are independent, you’ve raised the kids,

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you’ve made your money, you’ve proven to yourself

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and anyone else that you are enough

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and you can do it all, which means that now if you choose

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to share your life with someone, it’s not out of necessity,

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desperation, or societal or family expectation.

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It’s simply and only from desire.

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And that shift is everything.

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When you let go of that outcome, you are

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that much more likely to actually get it

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because the energy behind everything that you do is bursting

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with self-worth, strength and dignity.

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You know, if it’s not enough, it’s a no.

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If it’s not good enough, it’s a no.

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You want love, but only the kind that adds value

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to your already beautiful life,

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and that’s what makes you truly magnetic.

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Reason number three, you are done pretending

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and instead are just your true, authentic self.

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So in your younger years, dating was more of a performance

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and love was to be earned.

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You had to win him over

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and get him to see how amazing you are,

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and you tried to be what he wanted.

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Maybe you downplayed your success or softened your opinions

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or held back your truth to keep the peace

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or just bent over backwards to get him to see you as the one

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and pick you and like you, you accommodated,

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you were agreeable, you were anything that you thought

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that you needed to be to get him

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and keep him, which is all part of our conditioning

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as girls, by the way.

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But now that you know better, that does not work for you.

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Being that way doesn’t lead to authentic real connection

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or satisfaction in a relationship,

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and it doesn’t lead to real love and intimacy.

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So you’re done abandoning yourself

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and shapeshifting, you’re not looking to get picked anymore.

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You are doing the picking.

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And when you date, just being your true, raw, unfiltered,

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unapologetic, authentic self,

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you don’t get into just any relationship.

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You get into the right one.

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And it’s the kind of love you can only experience when you

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are fully expressed and seen for exactly who you are.

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So if you’re listening to this

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and you’re thinking, that’s what I want, I want to feel like

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that when I’m dating, then watch my free masterclass.

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You’ll learn the proven four step ready for love method

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that I’ve been using with our clients since 2017

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with women just like you.

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So go to ready for love inc.com/masterclass to watch it.

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So reason number four, you are at your very most radiant

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and sexy at this age.

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Yes, it’s true. You’ve made peace with your past.

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You have forgiven yourself, all

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of your flaws and your faults.

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You’ve accepted your body, you love who you are.

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And even though we may have more wrinkles

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and our bodies aren’t what they were,

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the complete acceptance of ourselves

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and being comfortable in our own skin,

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that is true confidence and it is sexy as hell.

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My favorite thing about getting older is not giving a f**k

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anymore about what anyone else thinks.

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And when you don’t care what anyone else thinks,

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you are irresistible, you’re not seeking acceptance

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or approval because you’ve given that to yourself.

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You are impervious to criticism or judgment

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because at the end of the day, the only opinion

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that matters about you is your own.

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And you look good because you wear what you want to wear

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and you look amazing because you want to look amazing.

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You wear what you want for you not to get male attention

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or approval, and definitely not to be validated by some guy

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who may or may not text you later.

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And this is very important right now,

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when a woman no longer needs flattery

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to feel good about herself, and when she is whole

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and full, rather than starving for love, validation,

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or attention, she becomes immune to love bombing, immune

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to rejection, manipulation, or any other bs.

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That energy is your superpower.

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It becomes like a force field around you.

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And that kind of energy is rare, radiant,

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alluring, and intoxicating.

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And finally, reason number five, you trust yourself

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and that changes everything.

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You are no longer wondering if you’re good enough or worthy

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or deserving or lovable.

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You know you are

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and you understand it has nothing to do

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with your achievements or your accomplishments either.

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You were born worthy

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and nothing has changed, no matter

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what you have been through in your life.

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So you are not hiding, you are not afraid of rejection

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or abandonment, and you are no longer trying

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to get someone to like you.

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And this changes everything about

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how you navigate your life, not just your love life

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and dating, but how you operate in all areas of your life.

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You trust yourself to always do what is best

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for you no matter what.

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You’ll never betray yourself

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or abandon yourself ever again, not

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for him and not for anyone.

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You’ve learned that you are the most important

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person in your life.

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Your needs, wants, opinions

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and boundaries are to be respected

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and honored by you, first and foremost.

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And you understand that you come first

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after all these years of taking care of everyone

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and everything else and putting yourself last

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and taking crumbs and scraps has been your own doing,

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and you are done with that.

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This is high value energy.

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Your relationship with you

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and how you treat yourself is everything.

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Knowing that you come first

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and that you go first means that you trust your gut

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and listen to yourself.

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You don’t settle override your intuition

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or silence yourself to keep the peace,

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and you don’t fall for manipulation or gaslighting,

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but instead you listen to yourself

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and you know you will never, ever settle ever again.

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When you have self-trust like this,

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this foundational component of a relationship with you,

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you show up fearlessly and open

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and ready to just let love in.

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So if you’ve been telling yourself the story

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that it’s too late or too hard

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or not worth the trouble, I hope this episode gave you a lot

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to think about and energized you

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because the truth is dating in your midlife over 50 ish

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can be better than ever.

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Thanks for being here

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and make sure to subscribe, share your thoughts with me

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and share this episode with somebody who needs to hear it.

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And remember to watch the free masterclass at Ready

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for love inc.com/masterclass.

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And if you’ve already done that by the way, you can apply

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for a free love breakthrough call with my team at ready

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for love inc.com/apply.

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I’ll see you next time.