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Have you ever noticed the moment you stop caring about
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something, it suddenly becomes available to you?
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Maybe you tried really hard to make something happen
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or to achieve a goal, even obsessed over it,
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but it wasn’t until you gave up on it a little
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that it actually happened.
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Today I’m sharing what this is all about,
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how it works and why.
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It’s a mindset technique I’ve been using with my clients
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for 25 years to help them get more of
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what they want without losing themselves or their wellbeing
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and quality of life in the process so
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that you too can get more of
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what you want this year while maintaining your health,
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vitality and your sanity.
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So we hear this happening a lot with people who are trying
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so hard to have a baby.
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We all have heard a story like this.
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They’re doing all the interventions
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and life almost stands still in
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that frantic pursuit to get pregnant.
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They’re obsessed, but only when they finally give up
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and stop trying or even adopt, they get pregnant.
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Maybe you’ve experienced this in dating.
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You were so focused on finding someone going on all the
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dates and really putting yourself out there,
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but then the moment you decided to take a break
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and just focus on yourself
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for a while is when you met someone really great.
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So what is this technique that is so super powerful
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that you get more of what you want without trying so hard
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and pushing and chasing?
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It’s what I call letting go of the outcome.
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You simply let go of the outcome that you
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so desperately seek so that you can actually get it.
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And I know it sounds totally backwards
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and counter to everything that we naturally tend to do,
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and it doesn’t seem to make logical sense at all
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because when you want something so badly,
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you’d think it would make more sense to go
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after it with everything that you’ve got.
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But stay with me so that I can explain
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what seems like a really big contradiction.
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And I promise if you have the good sense to listen
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to me on this, it will be as life changing for you
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as it has been for me.
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So rest assured, letting go is not about quitting
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or giving up on what you want,
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and it’s not about pretending
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that you don’t care about something either
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because that doesn’t work, you just can’t fake it.
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Letting go of the outcome is mentally
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and emotionally detaching from
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and releasing your need to achieve or have this thing.
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It’s wanting something, going after it
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and taking all the necessary actions towards it.
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And at the very same time,
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releasing your grip on the outcome you so deeply desire.
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You’re holding these two opposing forces within
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you at the same time.
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But what makes the difference is
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how you are doing all of what you’re doing.
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It’s who you are being when you’re doing it
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that makes the difference.
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Everything about you
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and how you approach working towards the goal matters more
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than all the things that you’re doing to achieve it.
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I’ll say that another way.
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It doesn’t matter as much what you are doing as it does
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who you are being when you’re doing it.
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Let that sink in for a second.
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What you are thinking about, how you are feeling,
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your mindset, your self-talk and your energy.
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There’s a big difference between I need this
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and I want this.
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When you’re in, I need this energy.
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I must have it or else I will suffer, be in pain,
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will feel bad about myself.
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I won’t be good enough. I can’t breathe. That’s desperation.
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And you’re anxious, overly eager, frantic,
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and your actions are grasping, chasing,
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or forcing or pushing.
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When you’re in, I want this, you’re in a place of desire.
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You’re going after something
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because it would be great to have it,
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but you’re not desperate to get it.
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So you’re not strained or stressed out.
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You’re not frantic
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and anxious, you’re not emotionally
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dependent upon getting it.
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You trust yourself to handle whatever happens.
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If it doesn’t work out, you’ll be fine.
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You’ll figure something else out.
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And so you shift into a state of being genuinely okay,
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whether you get it or not.
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And that deep trust and faith in yourself
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and in the universe allows you to relax
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and open yourself up to the endless infinite possibility
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of whatever happens.
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Then inside of you is this emotional state,
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and it’s an energy that opens you up to receiving what it is
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that you want your entire being.
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And energy is wide open
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and welcoming to this thing that you want
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to just come into your life.
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And then when you shift into this state, all the actions
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that you are taking are coming from a version of you
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who is inspired and joyful and grateful
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and just high vibe all around.
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I call this slowing down to get there faster.
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Your breathing and relaxing and trusting.
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It is all coming to you as you do all the things.
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Think about trying to pick up a wet bar of soap.
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If you’re just grasping at it frantically
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or recklessly, it just pops right outta your hands
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continuing to escape and remaining just beyond your reach.
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But if you slow down and you carefully, gently,
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thoughtfully reach for it, you can just simply pick it up.
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Can you feel the difference?
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One is trust, detachment,
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releasing your grasp and letting go.
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The other is fear, anxiety, attachment, and desperation.
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And that just repels everything you want
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and are working so hard to achieve.
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So if you’re dating someone
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and you’re desperate for them to like you
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and for them to commit
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and for them to choose you, you come across as needy.
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You overanalyze everything.
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You try to control his perception of you.
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You try to control the pace of things
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and you’re seeking reassurance from him.
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You end up losing yourself trying to be
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what you think he wants.
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And that low vibe, scarcity energy pushes him away.
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But when you’re detached, you can genuinely like someone,
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but also you’re totally fine if it doesn’t work out
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because you know that your worth isn’t tied
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to whether this one person chooses you.
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And that’s when you’re completely magnetic.
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That’s when you’re showing up as your best self,
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and that’s when they are drawn to you.
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So the same thing applies to your career, your business,
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your finances, your health,
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and it really just applies to everything.
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When you’re gripping so tightly onto a specific outcome
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that you really can’t control anyway
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and when you need it to happen
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or else you’ll fall apart, you are repelling it.
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You’re operating from scarcity and fear.
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But when you want it and you’re working toward it,
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but you’re not attached to it, you trust that you’re going
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to be okay regardless.
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That’s abundance, that’s confidence.
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That’s the energy that attracts everything you want.
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So detachment isn’t about not caring,
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it’s about caring without needing.
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It’s about wanting, without desperation,
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about taking action from a place of trust instead of fear.
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And that subtle but powerful shift just changes everything.
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So you’re probably wondering how, how do I actually do this?
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How do I detach when I care so much about something?
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How do I let go when everything in me
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wants to hold on tight?
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I’m gonna walk you through the four step strategy
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that I use myself
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and that I teach my clients so that you can get more of
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what you want without working so hard in your relationships,
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your career, your health, your finances, all of it.
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Step number one is to get crystal clear on what you want.
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You have to have a clear vision of what you actually want,
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not just some vague concept
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or vague idea, not I, I’ll know it when I see it kind
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of thing, but a clear, detailed, vivid vision.
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What does it look like? What does it feel like?
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Who are you when you have this thing that you want?
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If it’s a relationship,
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what does a Tuesday night look like with this person?
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How do you feel when you wake up next to him?
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What’s the energy between you? What is your dynamic?
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If it’s a business goal, what does your day look like?
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How do you feel when you’re checking your bank account?
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What kind of work are you doing every day?
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And if it’s a health goal, how does your body feel?
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What are you capable of?
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How do you move through the world differently?
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What are you wearing? Get specific.
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Paint the picture in your mind
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and experience it as if it’s already real.
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Because here’s the thing, if you can’t visualize it,
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it will not happen.
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Your brain can’t move towards something that it can’t see.
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You have to give it a clear target and a clear destination.
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So spend time every single day visualizing what it is
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that you’re wanting, not just thinking about it,
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but actually feeling it, seeing it
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and living it in your mind.
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This isn’t woo, this is just complete neuroscience.
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Your brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real
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and what’s vividly imagined.
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So when you visualize it clearly
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and you feel it deeply, your brain starts rewiring itself
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to make that vision your reality.
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Step two, be grateful for this thing that you’re trying
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to create and achieve now as if you already have it.
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This is where most people get it wrong.
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They’re in a state of longing of wanting of, I don’t have it
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yet, or that if then thing, so I’ll be happy when I get it,
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or I’ll be happy if I get it.
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Delaying your joy, delaying your happiness,
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delaying your satisfaction
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and contentment until you get this thing.
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So that keeps you in scarcity,
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only being grateful when you get the thing,
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but that’s actually what keeps you stuck in lack
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and in a state of separation from what it is that you want.
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So instead, practice gratitude for this thing
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as if you already have it.
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And it’s not fake gratitude.
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It’s real embodied gratitude,
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which means you’re waking up every morning feeling genuine
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appreciation for the relationship, the business success,
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the health, the life that you’re creating,
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as if it’s already here.
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You become the future version of you who is living
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that life when you have this thing,
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but you’re living that version of you.
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Now, how does she think? How does she carry herself?
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How does she make decisions?
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How does she spend her time
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and what does she believe about herself?
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You start being her now,
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not someday when you finally get the thing now,
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because here’s what happens when you do this.
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You’re training your brain to
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recognize yourself in this new way.
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You step into being her.
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And this goal no longer feels foreign to you or unreachable.
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It feels inevitable. It feels real like right now.
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And when you embody the version of you who already has
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what you want, you naturally start making different choices,
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taking different actions and showing up differently.
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Step number three, take inspired action
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from a high vibe state.
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This builds on what we were just talking about.
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So you can’t just hope and pray and wish and dream
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and wait for what it is that you want.
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You do still have to do the work. You have to take action.
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There are things that must be done,
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but here’s the key difference.
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You’re doing all of the things from a place of high vibe,
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from inspiration, from abundance, not from fear desperation,
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not from I have to do this, but rather I get to do this.
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You’re taking inspired
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and efficient action, action that feels aligned
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and that lights you up.
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That comes from a tr, a place of trust, not panic.
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Here’s the difference. Low vibe is I have to go on this date
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because what if I never meet anyone else?
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High vibe is I get to meet someone new
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and practice showing up as my best self low vibe is I have
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to post on social media or my business will fail.
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High vibe is I get to share something
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that might help somebody today.
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Low vibe, I have to work out or I’ll never lose weight.
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Hi, vibe. I get to connect with my body
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and feel strong today.
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Do you feel the difference? One is burden.
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The other is opportunity and gratitude.
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How you’re doing what you’re doing makes a big difference.
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Trust me here. Step number four, let go and trust
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because you already have everything you need.
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This is the final step
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and it’s the one that ties everything together.
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You let go by remembering you’re already there.
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You already have everything that you need.
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This is a desire and you will get all that you desire
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and more than you ever imagined possible.
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And whatever comes your way is exactly
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what is meant for you.
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You are worthy and capable
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and deserving already right now as you are.
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And this thing would be great to have.
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And if it’s not this, it will be something else,
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something even better,
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because the universe delivers what you are open
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and ready to receive.
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This framing puts you in the state to receive what you want.
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You trust that you always get what you want.
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Everything always works out for your benefit.
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Everything always works out in your favor.
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If it’s not this, it will be something even better
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that you can’t even imagine yet.
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And here’s a bonus step.
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Just start making it part of your daily life
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to remind yourself
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and letting go of the outcome right now
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just reminds you to release.
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So here’s what I want you to take away
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from this episode today.
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Everything that you want is more than possible for you.
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It’s inevitable. That’s the belief.
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But you can’t get there by gripping tighter.
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You get there by letting go. Let go, ladies.
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Let go of the outcome. Lovelies, you’re no longer grasping.
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You’re no longer desperate or anxious or in a state of lack.
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You’re just in abundance and faith and trust.
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And that’s when love finds you.
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That’s when opportunity finds you.
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That’s when success of all kinds finds you try it.
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You’re going to see that it actually starts working
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for you quicker than you realize.
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And if you want help putting this all together, go to ready
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for love inc.com/journal and grab the Daily journal.
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It is my method for putting this all into action.
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Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next time.
