Episode 94

Dating After Loss: How Charlene Found Real Love Again

This episode offers a clear look at dating after loss, breaking old patterns, and choosing partners from strength rather than fear.
36 mins
Hilary Silver dressed in a black t-shirt with the word 'AMOUR' and leather pants poses playfully, blowing a kiss against a simple background.

Show Notes

Charlene thought she was ready to date after losing her husband and parents, but she struggled to find real love with the men she was dating. Each relationship reflected the same old wounds she carried into her marriage: overgiving, hoping for scraps of connection, and treating attention like approval. Nothing shifts until you’re willing to look at what keeps repeating and ask why it still has a hold on you. That question became her turning point.

Inside the Ready for Love program, she rebuilt trust with herself. She named her dating non-negotiables for the first time in her life. She stepped into dating with a calm, grounded confidence that didn’t need someone else’s interest to feel worthy. What happens when a woman dates with that mindset? She attracts people who actually fit the life she wants rather than the wounds she’s healing.

This episode offers a clear look at dating after loss, breaking old patterns, and choosing partners from strength rather than fear. It invites you to consider where your own standards live and whether you’ve been settling for connections that don’t match the depth you want.

In this episode, you’ll learn...

Episode Highlights:
  • Dating after loss and how grief can shape your patterns
  • Why emotionally unavailable men kept showing up
  • The moment Charlene recognized she needed a new approach
  • How naming her non-negotiables changed her confidence
  • What dating looks like when you lead with self-respect
  • How falling in love with herself shifted everything
Episode Breakdown:
[00:00] Facing Grief and Loss
[05:07] Reflections on Marriage and Relationships
[11:40] The Self-Confidence Transformation Process
[19:22] Dating Again With Real Confidence
[24:40] Embracing Self-Love and Empowerment
[31:24] Advice for Women Attracting the Wrong Men

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Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Ready for Love podcast.

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Today is another special day where we are interviewing one of our Ready for

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Love alumni, or graduates of our program.

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And if you’ve been listening to the last many weeks, we’ve been infusing

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into these weekly conversations, these types of interviews, because I

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really want to give you an opportunity to hear from women who’ve gone through our

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program. It’s inspirational, it’s motivational, it’s

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educational, and it gives me an opportunity to really highlight the

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amazing women that I get to work with that do our program,

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because I really, truly believe that any woman who’s willing to

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look in the mirror, do the work on herself is the most elite and

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extraordinary woman on the planet, and I want to share them with you.

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We all want to know these types of women.

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So without further ado, today we are, um, speaking with

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Charlene. She is a fabulous, fabulous lady, and I can’t wait for you to hear

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from her. Um, and just a brief intro, she was a

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teacher for 29 years. Thank you, thank you

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for being a teacher, the most underappreciated of among us, I

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believe. For 29 years, like you’ve got to be the most uber

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patient human being in the world. Can I have some of your patience,

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please? Um, (laughs) and then you retired.

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She retired and is now a master transformational

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health and life coach. And spoiler

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alert, which I hate to say, and I hate to do, but she is now one

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of the coaches for our, for our program. Yay!

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Um, such an amazing woman is now part of our team.

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I love, I love when that happens. So welcome,

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Charlene.

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I just got goosebumps, by the way.

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(laughs) (laughs)

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It’s so exciting. I’m so happy to be here.

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I love … So a lot of women go through our program and then want to work for

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us, and I think, of course, I, again, we work with the

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most amazing women in the program as clients, so why wouldn’t I want you to be part

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of my team? So yes, we’re doing that.

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It’s amazing. So, okay, so what we want to know

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is when you decided to join the program, where were you

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at in life? What was going on with you and what were you struggling with?

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Okay, so we’re gonna do some backstory then.

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Yeah.

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Um, so, um, back in, uh, May of 2022, my

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husband was diagnosed with cancer, and, you

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know, anything that could have gone wrong did.

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Um,

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and he succumbed to, you know, he died basically nine months

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later. And I spent the last, you know, two and a half

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years, um, mourning, grieving, and my parent, my mother died in the

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midst. I mean, it was a, it was a rough three years, like my mom, my husband, and

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then my dad. So three paramount people died in my life,

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and, you know, I spent, I’ve, I’ve been in all

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forms of therapy my entire life, different modalities, and, um,

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I felt back in, you know, you know, May, June, I’m like, “Nah, I feel

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like I’m ready to get back into the ring after everything that I’ve gone through.”

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‘Cause I’m young, you know, I, I, I, I, I love, I, I

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love to be loved, I love to love, and I’m like, “I think I’m ready.” And

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I went onto a dating app, and the guys that I was attracting, I’m like,

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“Oh my God,” I was a hot mess. And I’m like, “This is, this is not

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good.” It was like I felt, I was desperate, and every time I’d be on my

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phone, um, I’d be scrolling through, I’d see your program, and I’m like, “Hmm,” and

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I would just pause for a second, and I would hear things, and I would just say to

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myself like, “Okay,” and then I would just keep swiping along, but there was a day

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like I think it was the fourth guy I went out with that it was like that breaking

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point of like, “I am a mess. How I am showing up, I am attracting

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these disasters of men.” No, you know, no offense to them, but I’m

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like, “What the hell is going on with me? I clearly need help. I need help.

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Something is wrong in here,” you know?

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And even though I was doing a deep dive on my marriage, ’cause all marriages are

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work, and, you know, I realized that I was showing up in desperation and all that,

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it was still there. So I realized I hadn’t healed.

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So I was like, I, I remember calling, I remember the day I called, it was my

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sister’s birthday, and I called him on the phone.

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I’m like, “Okay, I’m ready,” you know?

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Like, “I need to do something.” And so I joined one.

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So really it was, it was, you had just gone through a shit storm in your own life.

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Oh my God, it was a total shit storm.

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You thought you were ready, but when you were dating, what you were

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experiencing really was a mirror for you and you realized, “I don’t think I’m

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ready.” (laughs)

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Yes. So yeah. Yeah, yeah.

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It was so heavy. Everything felt so heavy.

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I’m like, “Why is it so heavy?”

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Yeah.

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You know, the guy’s like, you know, like-

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Not supposed to

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be. … “Oh,” like, “I’m broken. I’m in a, I’m in the middle of a d-” It was just so

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heavy, I’m like, “Ugh,” you know? “I need to stop.”

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So you were attracting men who were in the middle of divorces.

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You were attracting men who had issues, who were in, in, in trouble.

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Emotionally unavailable, the whole nine yards, right? So yeah.

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That was the, that was my big thing, yeah.

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Well, I love that you had the foresight or the insight

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to recognize that something was going on with you to ask yourself, “What

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am I doing wrong? Why is this what I’m experiencing?” Instead of just blaming

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all men being shitty. That’s pretty big.

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No, I didn’t think it was me. Well, I mean, you figure, you know, you know, ’cause

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with therapy, you always, the mirror, when you’re married, the mirror’s always in

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your face. So it’s like, you know, and so to me, it made sense that like I, it’s

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clearly the energy I’m putting out is the energy that’s coming back my way.

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So I was like, “Okay, I, I got to… I can’t seem to figure this out on my own.

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I need help,” and so…

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Yeah. Well, and we’re gonna talk about that t- in a second.

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What I’d like to do is back up and actually talk about your marriage a little

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bit. And, and I’m doing this for any listener who’s been in your

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situation.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, and I train my team who does those enrollment calls to how

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to handle this, because

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w- not all women who were married and are widows had a good

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experience in their marriage. Some did, some

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didn’t.

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And I know, actually, I learned

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this from…… doing these calls myself,

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and, and these calls that we do are these, like, 75-minute deep dive

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conversations with women to make sure we’re a fit, can we really help

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you, and we do get a lot of women who, who are widows and book calls with

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us. And what, what most of the women get from their

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friends, their therapist is, “You poor thing. You’re so grieving.

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You’re…” “How hard for you.” And while that might be a part of it, it’s

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not always all of it, and we provide a safe,

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confidential space to tell the truth.

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And I once had a woman say, “Thank God he died because that was the only way I was

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ever gonna get out of that situation.”

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Hmm.

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And I learned, oh my God, like, let’s not assume that

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somebody who’s a widow is the grieving widow.

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They, you know, we can’t assume anybody’s experience.

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And so we, what we started doing on the calls when we have a widow on the

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phone is saying, “Look, like, marriage is hard.

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Nothing is ever perfect. Relationships take work and are a

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struggle. You’re getting a second chance at this that you didn’t

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want to have, expect to have, or ever thought that you would.

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So what was not working in your marriage that you really

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want to do differently the next time around?” And I love

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that question because it really allows women a safe space to just be

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honest about, “Well, that was a good marriage, but it wasn’t great.” Another woman

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once told me that she had been in an abusive marriage, or an abusive

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relationship,

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and so when she married the man she did, she picked a good guy.

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He was safe. He provided security.

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He was kind and gentle and loving, but she spent

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20 years in a marriage without, like, without passion,

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without connection-

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Yeah.

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… without a great sex life. And so she was grateful, and she never would’ve

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left, but here she is having an opportunity to do this again,

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and that is one thing that she really was hoping to get the next

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time around. So for you, then, having said all that, what

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was going on in your marriage? What was your marriage like that,

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you know, whether it was good, bad, all around, all of it, like, perfectly

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imperfect and whatever it was, what was going on in your marriage that you wanted,

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that you now know you wanna do differently going forward?

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So it’s interesting because e- going back to the first date, like, it was the

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best first date I’ve ever been on, you know? My friend set us up.

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She’s like, “I found the perfect guy for you.” He was 6’6″, like, 200, like,

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big muscular guy, and I was like, “Oh my God.” Like, it was beau- I was so

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attracted to him, and it turned into this whirlwind, and

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it was crazy, and it was, and, and, and I remember along the way,

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Hillary, like, there were things I’m like, “Slow down.” So, and I wouldn’t slow

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down. I was like, “Oh, I gotta keep the momentum going because he sees me, he likes

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me,” because all my life, it’s like, you always want somebody to like you and to

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see you. And so, I realized one of my big things was I was always looking

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outside instead of looking inside, like, looking outside for affirmation,

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looking outside for acceptance, looking outside.

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So I was always hungry for that, and he provided that, but what was

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interesting is he had his insecurities, I came in with

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mine, and it was this very, I had a very tumultuous marriage, very

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tumultuous. It was either wonderful or it was

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godawful. And, you know, he would threaten to leave, like,

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“I’m leaving,” and I would leech on, “Don’t leave,” and I would literally,

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abandonment issues would be, like, flying high, and I’m grabbing

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onto him for dear life saying, “Please don’t leave me.

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Please don’t leave me.” It was intense, but then, a- and so, but then it would be,

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like, these moments of, like, “Oh, you’re the greatest thing ever.” So you’re like,

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“Okay.” So those little crumbs just kind of keep you in the game, and those little

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glimpses of hope would just keep me in the game for the 12 years that we were

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together. And so, and, and over time, I was like, I,

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I literally, my light just got dimmer and dimmer and dimmer because I allowed

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that to happen, you know? And I don’t, I don’t point my finger at him. I own that.

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I’m like, “I allowed this to happen,” and that’s the work that I, that I’ve been

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doing of, like, I realized that I have to take

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responsibility for my actions in that marriage, and I showed up in ways that

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I’m like, “Ooh.” You know, that was like in desperation, in

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agony, in pain and, like, I wasn’t showing up in love.

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I was showing up in desperation in that marriage.

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Yeah.

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And, you know, and I clung to that man. I clung hard.

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And, but over time, like, you know, throughout our, you know, throughout the last

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couple of years, you know, he would threaten to leave, and I was like, “Go

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ahead,” you know? And then he would s- and we would play this manipulative back and

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forth game. So for me, it was, it was really, I was, it was really

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unhealthy with an underlying current of love and friendship,

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which was really strange ’cause we were really good friends.

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So when, like, the shit would hit the fan, we’d sit out on the front porch, and

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he’d be like, “Thank God we’re friends.” I’m like, “Thank God we’re friends.” And

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when he got sick, by the way, before he got sick, we were talking about separating.

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We’re like, I’m, I’m like, “I’ve had enough.” Like, I’d reached my breaking point

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where I’m like, “I am done with trying to fit into this mold that I’m too

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much for you, that I’m too this, that I’m too… I’m done.

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I need to be who I am,” ’cause I was getting sick of that.

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And even our lifestyles were different. He didn’t like to travel.

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I love to travel, you know? I love to be around people.

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He wasn’t as social as I was. So, you know, in looking back at all of that,

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I’m like, “Hmm, it really did shine a light on stuff.” And when he got

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sick, we did have a big blowout. I was like, “You don’t…” I’m like, “I’m not

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going anywhere.” You don’t kick somebody when they’re down.

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I’m like, “We are friends, and I love you.

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I’m never gonna stop loving you.” And so, you know,

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having gone through that, like, watching him get sick and being with

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him through his sickness actually brought us together because it, like, it’s like

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when you’re staring death in the face, you all of a sudden let go of the shit that

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doesn’t matter, and for the first time in 12 years, that man leaned

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into me, and I was like, “Oh, there you are.

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I’ve been looking for you the entire… Where the hell have you been?” You know?

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So it was a really powerful-

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… and yeah, it was, oh my God, it was so pow- I could cry.

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So, you know, and like I said, I, I think back

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and, about all that I, I, I, I did and acted, and

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I’m like, “My, my, my,” and I, I want to hug that woman so much and be like, “You,

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you, oh, oh my goodness, you were in so much pain.”

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Yeah. “And you two could not figure out how to love each other in a way that you

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wanted to be loved,” so yeah.

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Yeah. Oh my gosh, that’s just an incredible story.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, I, I almost got teary for a second too, like I did actually.

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I’m, like, I’m not gonna go to the crumbly cry.

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(laughs) Yeah.

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But, but, like, that… I think that probably is

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probably what a lot of people have in their relationship, which is,

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like, highs and lows, don’t know how to get out of it.

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You can’t live with, can’t live without somebody.

237
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Yes.

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Yeah. Um, and it’s a lot… It’s a…

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It’s not bad enough to leave. It’s, h- you know…

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Oh, the negotiations in this brain.

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Oof, the justifications that you sit in that brain, like, you know-

242
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Yeah.

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Yeah. And then, oh… And then I don’t wanna be alone, and, you know, I- I- I’d

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rather be with this and then be alone.

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Like, you literally do go through a lot of, like, turmoil in your mind and, like,

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a lot

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of space – Yeah, I mean, people stay in that, “Should I stay or should I go?” for years at

248
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that limbo of… Right? It’s, it’s, it’s not bad enough to

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leave, but it’s not great enough to stay, and can I take this

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anymore. Um, so, uh, you know, uh, we

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always talk in the program about the lessons and the blessings and how

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everything ends up working out in your favor.

253
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Well, it’s definitely not a good thing that he’s gone.

254
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Right.

255
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However, for you being the survivor of that,

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um, of that relationship, to learn your

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lessons for yourself is a gift.

258
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Yes.

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That’s all that you can do with it. So, then moving forward then, when you

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were dating, were you seeing yourself showing up the same way

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as you had been-

262
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Yeah.

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… in your marriage?

264
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Yeah, I did, and it was interesting ’cause I, I was saying to myself, I’m like,

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“Oh, all the stuff that I’ve been, gone through, all the healing stuff, all the

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last, like, X amount of years,” and all of a sudden, I’m like, I’m attracting, uh,

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people like him, you know, with their insecurities and, and, and the

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heaviness and the intensity. It was so intense.

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And I’m like, “This is not good.” And I could just feel it in

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my bones. I’m like, “Oh my God, I’m going down the same rabbit hole.

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I’m going down the same path that I was doing before, but I don’t know what to do

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about it.” I’m like, “I need help.” That’s what I was saying.

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I’m like, “I n- I can’t figure this out on my own.

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I need help.”

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Yeah.

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So, yeah.

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Yeah, well, this is how women go through, whether it’s a divorce or just ending

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a, a long relationship, it’s how women end up repeating patterns,

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right?

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Yeah.

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You go through the whole laborious, exhausting

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process of dismantling a life together, if it’s by choice in divorce

283
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or whatever. It’s not the same with, with a death, but,

284
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like, moving on from a relationship only to then find yourself in another one

285
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that’s exactly the same. It’s just a big blind spot.

286
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So, I love that you were able to self-reflect enough to see,

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“Oh my God, I’m doing it again. I’m inviting-”

288
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289
00:14:18.237 –> 00:14:19.578
Yes. “… this dynamic.”

290
00:14:19.608 –> 00:14:22.108
Yeah. I was like, “No, thank you. I can’t… I cannot do this.

291
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I can’t.”

292
00:14:23.088 –> 00:14:23.228
Yeah.

293
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So, ’cause I was just living, reliving and owning what I was reliving.

294
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I’m like, “No way.”

295
00:14:27.758 –> 00:14:28.918
Yeah. Well, and a lot of women do that.

296
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They see where they’re going wrong, but they don’t know what to do differently and

297
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how to do it. So, it’s knowing better, but not doing better.

298
00:14:35.628 –> 00:14:35.638
Right.

299
00:14:35.688 –> 00:14:37.828
Sounds like where you were stuck.

300
00:14:37.868 –> 00:14:41.488
Well, it’s almost like you have, like, a, a textbook that you learn something from,

301
00:14:41.508 –> 00:14:44.017
and then when you go to apply it, you’re like, “I- I don’t know how to…

302
00:14:44.048 –> 00:14:46.768
Wait a minute. That’s… I’m not… Wait, hold on. I’m not doing…” Right?

303
00:14:46.788 –> 00:14:50.248
And that was what it was. I’m like, “I know, I know what I’m supposed to do.

304
00:14:50.408 –> 00:14:53.938
I know how things are supposed to be, but I’m not actually implementing that.” You

305
00:14:53.988 –> 00:14:54.228
know?

306
00:14:54.248 –> 00:14:54.378
Yeah.

307
00:14:54.378 –> 00:14:56.468
I’m not employing that. Yeah, I’m not living that.

308
00:14:56.508 –> 00:14:58.668
Yeah, it’s execution, like, you know, like-

309
00:14:58.677 –> 00:14:58.677

310
00:14:58.677 –> 00:15:02.148
Uh-huh. … executing it, like, on paper. I know what I’m supposed to do, but what does,

311
00:15:02.328 –> 00:15:06.278
does that look like in action? Okay, so what I wanna know now then, share with

312
00:15:06.328 –> 00:15:10.268
everybody what you came to learn about what you were doing

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wrong or what needed to heal for you.

314
00:15:12.588 –> 00:15:16.428
Like, what specific… You know, there’s the behaviors and how you’re acting and

315
00:15:16.468 –> 00:15:20.348
what you’re doing, but there’s also kind of underneath it all, like, what’s going

316
00:15:20.388 –> 00:15:24.228
on at the deeper level. So, whatever insights from the program that you

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00:15:24.288 –> 00:15:26.658
got or tools that you, that were really…

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00:15:26.668 –> 00:15:29.768
That stuck with you that helped you see this and then shift it.

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00:15:29.828 –> 00:15:33.528
I mean, for me, I can… I, I, I almost know the modules really well.

320
00:15:33.588 –> 00:15:36.378
So, and, you know, one of the biggest things that really…

321
00:15:36.428 –> 00:15:40.308
Initially, when I first started watching them was the sunny side up.

322
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I, I love that, where you’re talking about how we eclipse one another in

323
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relationships, but you’re like, “No, there’s space for you and, and, and then your

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togetherness.” And that, that visual was so really powerful.

325
00:15:51.028 –> 00:15:54.728
That was the first thing that I was like, “You can co-exist together and stay

326
00:15:55.408 –> 00:15:59.398
exactly who you are.” Because to me, like, one of the things that I-

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00:15:59.408 –> 00:16:02.058
that I will never do is dim my light again. My, I want…

328
00:16:02.068 –> 00:16:05.807
My light is shining brightly. So, by going through this program and all these

329
00:16:05.908 –> 00:16:09.848
amazing things that you come along, you, you come to realize how you’re showing

330
00:16:09.908 –> 00:16:13.498
up and, like, what my insecurities were, the abandonment issues and not being

331
00:16:13.528 –> 00:16:16.418
enough, not being lovable, you know? And so…

332
00:16:16.448 –> 00:16:20.367
And just having and always looking outside for those affirmations,

333
00:16:20.428 –> 00:16:24.377
you know? And me going through that and the how dare you exercises on,

334
00:16:24.428 –> 00:16:28.248
on the things that were… In, in the ways that you were wronged, and, and family

335
00:16:28.308 –> 00:16:32.228
expectations. Like, it’s like, holy crap, and how, you know, you’re showing

336
00:16:32.308 –> 00:16:35.448
up as, like, a connector in one space and a differentiator in others.

337
00:16:35.468 –> 00:16:38.768
And, and I’m like, “Oh, I’m a connector when I’m with my brother, but is it an

338
00:16:38.828 –> 00:16:41.458
interesting that I’m the differentiator, the overbearer when I’m with…” It- it’s

339
00:16:41.528 –> 00:16:44.018
just so interesting, like, when you’re… You- the- the…

340
00:16:44.028 –> 00:16:47.648
What I love is the consciousness of things, and the, again, the way that you

341
00:16:47.808 –> 00:16:51.698
frame things is different from anything I’ve ever experienced. Like, we’ve gone…

342
00:16:51.728 –> 00:16:54.617
I’ve gone through the childhood, whatever, but you do it in such a way that I’m

343
00:16:54.648 –> 00:16:58.298
like, “Damn, this is, ah! Oh my God.” Like, I’ve had so many, like,

344
00:16:58.308 –> 00:17:00.788
epiphanies as I would go through this program.

345
00:17:00.848 –> 00:17:04.578
And, you know, and, like, when you go through the, like, the, the ace conversation

346
00:17:04.628 –> 00:17:08.278
was one of my f- I do it all the time. I’m acing constantly, like, I’m always

347
00:17:08.288 –> 00:17:08.828
talking to, like-

348
00:17:08.838 –> 00:17:08.838

349
00:17:08.838 –> 00:17:11.528
(laughs) … one of my little ones. I’ve got, like, a 12-year-old. I’ve got an 8-year-old.

350
00:17:11.548 –> 00:17:15.528
I’ve got a f- I, you know, I had, like, a- my 50- my 53-year-old from a few months

351
00:17:15.588 –> 00:17:17.438
ago, right? So, I was talking to her.

352
00:17:17.448 –> 00:17:21.328
And so it’s like you have these great tools that you actually provide that

353
00:17:21.367 –> 00:17:24.788
you can… That you, that you use forever, right?

354
00:17:24.808 –> 00:17:27.488
That you can… That just become part of your identity.

355
00:17:27.508 –> 00:17:31.338
The thing I struggled with the most, honestly, was putting

356
00:17:31.368 –> 00:17:34.728
together my non-negotiable, my, my, my values, my, um,

357
00:17:34.788 –> 00:17:38.588
non-negotiables. I had… It took me three weeks because I had never

358
00:17:38.598 –> 00:17:42.288
realized, I never asked myself what I wanted. What do I want?

359
00:17:42.328 –> 00:17:45.738
It was always about, “Oh, he sees me. He wants me.” You see, “Oh, he wants me.

360
00:17:45.748 –> 00:17:49.340
He wants me,” and I never asked myself what I wanted.And

361
00:17:49.380 –> 00:17:51.700
it- right? And like, that was like, my- that was-

362
00:17:51.710 –> 00:17:51.710

363
00:17:51.710 –> 00:17:55.600
Hello. … probably my like, “Hello.” I had never asked myself, “What do

364
00:17:55.860 –> 00:17:57.850
I want in a g- like, in a guy?”

365
00:17:57.920 –> 00:17:58.130
Yeah.

366
00:17:58.130 –> 00:18:01.600
And that’s why it took me so long, and it was like, I can’t, like, “Wow.” And it

367
00:18:01.640 –> 00:18:04.760
was, I wa- at first I was like, “Holy,” I was just blown away by that, and then

368
00:18:04.800 –> 00:18:08.660
when I dove deep into it, I dug deep, I’m like, and I put all that together, all

369
00:18:08.700 –> 00:18:12.250
my values, all my non-negotiables, I was like, “Okay.”

370
00:18:12.250 –> 00:18:12.250

371
00:18:12.280 –> 00:18:16.160
And now, I like, they are with me, they are present any, you know, so

372
00:18:16.240 –> 00:18:20.030
when I went back into the dating pool, you know, the different

373
00:18:20.100 –> 00:18:22.440
guys were showing up. Like, different-

374
00:18:22.450 –> 00:18:22.450

375
00:18:22.450 –> 00:18:23.800
Yes. (laughs) … different energies were coming my way.

376
00:18:23.810 –> 00:18:25.500
‘Cause Charlene was different. Charlene-

377
00:18:25.510 –> 00:18:27.380
‘Cause Charlene showed up, and I’m like-

378
00:18:27.420 –> 00:18:27.470
Hey.

379
00:18:27.470 –> 00:18:29.180
… “There she is,” you know? Yeah.

380
00:18:29.190 –> 00:18:29.190

381
00:18:29.260 –> 00:18:33.050
And like, all that I am, and realizing and but it’s- the other thing

382
00:18:33.100 –> 00:18:37.080
too, Hillary, is that I, the biggest, uh, even bigger than

383
00:18:37.140 –> 00:18:40.800
like, m- asking, like, b- for what I want, I fell in love

384
00:18:40.960 –> 00:18:42.600
with myself-

385
00:18:42.640 –> 00:18:42.900
Yay.

386
00:18:42.910 –> 00:18:46.520
… in this program. I am like, I am like, I’m like, “I’m

387
00:18:46.760 –> 00:18:49.740
fuckin’ awesome. I’m pretty fuckin’ great,” you know?

388
00:18:49.780 –> 00:18:53.139
And so, that’s what my big takeaway is, I’m like, I’m like, “Yeah,” so

389
00:18:53.580 –> 00:18:57.200
nobody, I have this impervious, you know, space in my little

390
00:18:57.640 –> 00:19:00.950
world that, you know, that it’s like, it p- people are like, they talk about

391
00:19:01.060 –> 00:19:04.320
boundaries, and mine is like this little warm space with a

392
00:19:04.380 –> 00:19:08.060
fireplace, and like, books and all that, and people can come visit,

393
00:19:08.420 –> 00:19:12.120
and it’s like, “You can come, you can come,” and you know, let go of the outcome,

394
00:19:12.180 –> 00:19:15.960
that was another big takeaway, I don’t care about outcomes, you know, I’m just

395
00:19:16.020 –> 00:19:19.040
living in the moment, I’m living in the pre- and I’m living for me.

396
00:19:19.080 –> 00:19:20.810
Oh my God, my cheeks hurt so bad. (laughs)

397
00:19:20.860 –> 00:19:21.660
Right? And that’s-

398
00:19:21.680 –> 00:19:21.690
But

399
00:19:21.690 –> 00:19:25.340
it’s good. … that’s what it is, like, I am living for me, and I’m like, it feels so

400
00:19:25.380 –> 00:19:25.940
good.

401
00:19:25.960 –> 00:19:25.970
Yes.

402
00:19:25.980 –> 00:19:27.490
And I’m doing what I wanna do.

403
00:19:27.520 –> 00:19:27.680
Yes.

404
00:19:27.700 –> 00:19:27.950
You know?

405
00:19:27.950 –> 00:19:30.980
And- Oh my gosh, you just said so many amazing things that I wanna go back to and break

406
00:19:31.020 –> 00:19:32.190
it all down for our listeners.

407
00:19:32.200 –> 00:19:33.500
Yes, let’s break it down.

408
00:19:33.510 –> 00:19:36.880
So, yeah, the non-negotiables, like, honestly, so many

409
00:19:36.940 –> 00:19:40.320
women, and you’d be surprised how

410
00:19:40.340 –> 00:19:43.920
many high-achieving, super successful, smart women,

411
00:19:44.000 –> 00:19:47.960
educated women show up in their love lives just taking what they’re getting and

412
00:19:48.020 –> 00:19:51.880
not getting what they want, because they don’t even know, A, what they want, that

413
00:19:51.900 –> 00:19:53.900
they can ask for what they want, that they can-

414
00:19:53.920 –> 00:19:53.930
Yeah.

415
00:19:53.930 –> 00:19:57.860
… choose what they want, they’re not clear what they want, and so some guy

416
00:19:57.980 –> 00:20:00.960
comes along and he’s interested in you and you’re like, “Okay, I’m interested

417
00:20:01.020 –> 00:20:02.840
because you’re interested in me.”

418
00:20:02.900 –> 00:20:03.150
Yes.

419
00:20:03.180 –> 00:20:07.060
And that is like, such a low bar, hello, how many men are gonna

420
00:20:07.100 –> 00:20:10.200
be interested in you because you’re interesting and you’re amazing?

421
00:20:10.240 –> 00:20:13.480
That is not a reason to be interested in somebody.

422
00:20:13.520 –> 00:20:13.810
Yes.

423
00:20:13.840 –> 00:20:17.780
So I love that, and that’s, like you said, one of the biggest things, but you

424
00:20:17.900 –> 00:20:21.710
listed so many of the tools, and it just always

425
00:20:22.000 –> 00:20:25.110
t- always, like, I know there’s a lot in there,

426
00:20:25.160 –> 00:20:28.780
and- and it’s just a lot, but when I hear women talk about it, it’s like, “Oh,

427
00:20:28.820 –> 00:20:32.780
yeah, that. Oh, that, and that. Like, I created that.” And it’s so amazing,

428
00:20:32.800 –> 00:20:33.260
and you’re right-

429
00:20:33.320 –> 00:20:33.530
Yes, you can.

430
00:20:33.530 –> 00:20:37.440
… it’s one stacked on top of another after another after another, and they all

431
00:20:37.480 –> 00:20:41.120
work together in this really synergistic way

432
00:20:41.660 –> 00:20:45.600
to get deep down into the part of you that actually unlocks the

433
00:20:45.680 –> 00:20:47.970
change, because so many women-

434
00:20:48.360 –> 00:20:48.840
Yes.

435
00:20:48.850 –> 00:20:52.580
… have done a lot of work on themselves already, and so they have all the

436
00:20:52.660 –> 00:20:55.229
knowledge, like we said at the beginning, where you know better but you’re not

437
00:20:55.260 –> 00:20:59.080
doing better. It’s not, it’s just not i- integrating,

438
00:20:59.120 –> 00:21:00.500
it’s not becoming-

439
00:21:00.540 –> 00:21:00.840
Yes.

440
00:21:00.850 –> 00:21:04.520
… it doesn’t unlock, and so all these different

441
00:21:04.580 –> 00:21:07.840
modalities and metaphors and things and tools that I’m giving

442
00:21:08.560 –> 00:21:12.200
get- get access, like, it- it finally is like,

443
00:21:12.580 –> 00:21:16.300
gets the access to the deep part of yourself so that it actually clicks

444
00:21:16.380 –> 00:21:20.220
over and changes. And so, The Sunny Side Up,

445
00:21:20.260 –> 00:21:24.100
which came up on our, um, the last interview too, um, that we

446
00:21:24.200 –> 00:21:27.460
did, um, i- for the listeners, is really my

447
00:21:27.640 –> 00:21:30.560
model, so you’re not gonna f- Google it and find it.

448
00:21:30.580 –> 00:21:30.590
No.

449
00:21:30.620 –> 00:21:34.280
It is my creation, it is how, after

450
00:21:34.400 –> 00:21:38.320
working with couples for 15 years, I developed this new

451
00:21:38.380 –> 00:21:41.760
framework for understanding what it means din- to be healthy in a

452
00:21:41.800 –> 00:21:45.700
relationship, how to be healthy in a relationship.

453
00:21:45.740 –> 00:21:49.680
And it is the- called The Sunny Side Up because it look, the, there’s a visual

454
00:21:49.740 –> 00:21:52.060
model of it, and it looks like two fried eggs.

455
00:21:52.070 –> 00:21:54.200
(laughs) And I couldn’t think of any other-

456
00:21:54.210 –> 00:21:54.229
I love it.

457
00:21:54.229 –> 00:21:56.480
… thing to call it, so that’s what it was.

458
00:21:56.500 –> 00:22:00.240
But it is so profound, and we teach that in the very first 20 minutes,

459
00:22:00.260 –> 00:22:03.940
because it’s like getting slapped in the face with, “Holy

460
00:22:04.020 –> 00:22:05.040
shit-”

461
00:22:05.200 –> 00:22:05.419
Yes.

462
00:22:05.429 –> 00:22:06.970
“… I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life.”

463
00:22:06.979 –> 00:22:09.859
That was huge, by the way. That, li- like, that was the, one of the fr- I was like,

464
00:22:09.880 –> 00:22:13.390
“Oh my God,” it was so arresting, you know, and so I wa-

465
00:22:13.740 –> 00:22:16.800
that just knocked me on my ass in such a good way, I was like,

466
00:22:16.820 –> 00:22:19.720
“Oh. Oh my God,” it, that’s- that- that, you know what it was?

467
00:22:19.730 –> 00:22:22.220
And it was hope, it was possible. It was possibility.

468
00:22:22.230 –> 00:22:24.000
“Oh my God, I- I’ve been seeing things

469
00:22:24.980 –> 00:22:28.700
in a r- I- I- I’m shifting my lens as we speak just by, but just by that

470
00:22:28.780 –> 00:22:30.690
dia- that diagram alone just-”

471
00:22:30.700 –> 00:22:31.080
Yeah.

472
00:22:31.090 –> 00:22:32.110
“… shifted something inside of me.”

473
00:22:32.120 –> 00:22:33.550
Yeah. It is pretty amazing.

474
00:22:33.720 –> 00:22:35.440
It was br- it was brilliant, Hillary. It was- it’s brilliant.

475
00:22:35.460 –> 00:22:35.730
Well, thank you.

476
00:22:35.740 –> 00:22:36.660
Your program is, it’s a br-

477
00:22:36.720 –> 00:22:37.210
Oh, thank you.

478
00:22:37.210 –> 00:22:40.720
… it’s a- your program is br- it’s a brilliantly d- I- I mean, is brilliant

479
00:22:40.800 –> 00:22:43.640
program. I still journal. I journal every day.

480
00:22:43.700 –> 00:22:43.950
Yeah, good.

481
00:22:43.980 –> 00:22:47.380
I manifest, I have visualizations, I manifest things in my head and they

482
00:22:47.440 –> 00:22:49.600
come. It’s like, unbelievable. So-

483
00:22:49.640 –> 00:22:49.650
Yeah.

484
00:22:49.650 –> 00:22:50.300
… you know, it’s-

485
00:22:50.320 –> 00:22:54.140
It really is the perfect combination of doing, like, the science of psychology

486
00:22:54.760 –> 00:22:58.120
and neuroscience to change your brain, and the- the

487
00:22:58.200 –> 00:22:59.940
manifesting law of attraction stuff.

488
00:22:59.960 –> 00:23:03.810
It really is whe- where science meets woo, kind of, and-

489
00:23:04.060 –> 00:23:07.840
and the multiple modalities that are in this program that

490
00:23:07.860 –> 00:23:11.300
really help us reprogram m- the deepest parts of ourselves.

491
00:23:11.340 –> 00:23:14.550
You said so many of those tools and I’m trying to remember some of them are, but

492
00:23:14.550 –> 00:23:14.550

493
00:23:14.550 –> 00:23:16.630
you- We talked about the ACE, I talk about the ACE conver-

494
00:23:16.660 –> 00:23:17.520
Like the ACE, yeah.

495
00:23:17.530 –> 00:23:18.130
… the ACE, yes.

496
00:23:18.130 –> 00:23:22.020
Yeah. Well, that was, that’s a brilliant contribution to the program by Cheri,

497
00:23:22.080 –> 00:23:26.030
our lead coach, um, whose, like, zone of

498
00:23:26.140 –> 00:23:30.100
genius and her area of expertise where she actually creates some of her

499
00:23:30.200 –> 00:23:34.120
own, you know, body of work is around the inner child healing, and the ACE

500
00:23:34.160 –> 00:23:37.930
conversation is something that Cheri created, um,

501
00:23:38.000 –> 00:23:41.760
that helps women walk through how to talk to the little you

502
00:23:41.820 –> 00:23:45.640
inside of you, she calls it your little who, to actually

503
00:23:45.680 –> 00:23:49.192
continue the healing in a way, even now….

504
00:23:49.202 –> 00:23:50.371
and, and it is brilliant.

505
00:23:50.392 –> 00:23:54.072
The way I see the ACE conversation is, like, you get to go back and reparent

506
00:23:54.111 –> 00:23:57.202
yourself in a way that you weren’t, that you did, that you didn’t get.

507
00:23:57.212 –> 00:23:59.452
Like, you get to be the parent, so you get to take charge.

508
00:23:59.472 –> 00:24:01.732
And that’s, again, goes, you’re taking your power back.

509
00:24:01.752 –> 00:24:02.992
That’s what this is all about.

510
00:24:03.002 –> 00:24:03.002

511
00:24:03.012 –> 00:24:06.072
You’re taking back your power, Severi- you’re, you’re being empowered.

512
00:24:06.111 –> 00:24:08.371
This is a, a program of empowerment.

513
00:24:08.392 –> 00:24:08.532
Yes.

514
00:24:08.591 –> 00:24:09.412
Literally. You know?

515
00:24:09.432 –> 00:24:09.542
It is.

516
00:24:09.542 –> 00:24:13.152
And, and, and that, right? And that falling in love with yourself, and that, to me,

517
00:24:13.212 –> 00:24:14.831
that was like, I- I am

518
00:24:15.972 –> 00:24:19.631
… Like I said, I will not compromise myself ever again.

519
00:24:19.652 –> 00:24:22.341
Like, I- I won’t. So this, so you have changed, this …

520
00:24:22.351 –> 00:24:24.111
You have changed my life.

521
00:24:24.192 –> 00:24:24.412
Yay.

522
00:24:24.452 –> 00:24:27.131
My life ha- my life has completely changed.

523
00:24:27.140 –> 00:24:27.162
And now

524
00:24:27.172 –> 00:24:29.381
Well, you changed your life. You did it.

525
00:24:29.412 –> 00:24:30.912
Well, you gave me the tools. How about this?

526
00:24:30.952 –> 00:24:33.512
You gave me the tools to change my life-

527
00:24:33.522 –> 00:24:33.522

528
00:24:33.522 –> 00:24:37.461
Yes. … in a way that I was, you know, like you said, I’ve been do- I- I’ve, you

529
00:24:37.472 –> 00:24:41.022
know, I have so much education behind things, but it was like I wasn’t doing, I

530
00:24:41.072 –> 00:24:44.861
wasn’t enacting it. And you created a program that made it

531
00:24:44.871 –> 00:24:46.392
possible to do that.

532
00:24:46.472 –> 00:24:48.182
Yeah. Thank you so much.

533
00:24:48.192 –> 00:24:48.202
Yeah.

534
00:24:48.232 –> 00:24:50.611
It’s, yeah, it’s just gets better and better.

535
00:24:50.652 –> 00:24:54.101
So, everybody wants to know, are you dating somebody?

536
00:24:54.152 –> 00:24:55.871
What’s going on in your love life?

537
00:24:56.212 –> 00:25:00.111
I am. So, the funny thing is, is, um, when I went back into the

538
00:25:00.252 –> 00:25:04.232
ring, if you will, you know, I had the you and me profile was playful,

539
00:25:04.292 –> 00:25:07.312
so I was getting a lot of, you know, stuff coming back.

540
00:25:07.391 –> 00:25:11.272
And I actually lowered the age group of guys that I

541
00:25:11.312 –> 00:25:14.272
was seeing, ’cause I was like, oh. My friends are like, “You are so energetic, you

542
00:25:14.292 –> 00:25:18.152
are so alive. Go younger, see what happens.” I’m like, “Okay.” So, a

543
00:25:18.351 –> 00:25:22.312
whole pool of, you know, people did, and so, what was interesting is

544
00:25:22.371 –> 00:25:26.132
every guy I would go out with was like, a really great guy, but they got better and

545
00:25:26.212 –> 00:25:30.121
better and better. So, the, the guy right before, th- you

546
00:25:30.172 –> 00:25:33.871
know, the guy I’m seeing now, like intellectually, like o- great human

547
00:25:33.952 –> 00:25:36.972
being, but the ke- but the, but the heat wasn’t there.

548
00:25:37.091 –> 00:25:39.792
Ugh, but I’m like, but I’m like, “Oh, but he’s such a great guy.” And, you know,

549
00:25:39.831 –> 00:25:41.202
it’s like, “No, no, no. We’re not doing…”

550
00:25:41.212 –> 00:25:43.512
Maybe the old you would have stayed and tried to make it work.

551
00:25:43.532 –> 00:25:46.972
The old me would have stayed and tried to make it work. I know that.

552
00:25:47.012 –> 00:25:49.152
That, ’cause that was the old me. Eh.

553
00:25:49.192 –> 00:25:51.452
And that’s where I had the ACE conversation with her.

554
00:25:51.472 –> 00:25:55.271
I’m like, “Listen, you, you know, I know we’re two for three, but we’re gonna be

555
00:25:55.312 –> 00:25:58.461
three for three because we are abundant, we are a banquet.

556
00:25:58.472 –> 00:26:02.371
We’re not getting crumbs, we’re going for the whole fricking thing.” So, you

557
00:26:02.412 –> 00:26:06.272
know, and it, like, a very nice conversation with the guy or whatever, and

558
00:26:06.312 –> 00:26:10.192
then I came, you know, met this very, like sweet, handsome

559
00:26:10.312 –> 00:26:11.871
guy who is, you know, he’s wonderful.

560
00:26:11.891 –> 00:26:15.532
He’s just a great human being. And you know, we talk

561
00:26:15.712 –> 00:26:18.452
heat, heart, you know, um-

562
00:26:19.212 –> 00:26:19.312
Head.

563
00:26:19.331 –> 00:26:22.162
What was the third? Head, thank you. Heat, heart, and head. I’m like boom.

564
00:26:22.192 –> 00:26:24.322
Check, check, check. All the non-negotiables, everything just checks.

565
00:26:24.351 –> 00:26:28.322
I’m like, “Wow.” And just, you know, just continues to surprise me about

566
00:26:28.351 –> 00:26:30.312
what a amazing human being that he is.

567
00:26:30.322 –> 00:26:33.891
And it’s like, “Oh.” And the other thing that I love, I’m in no rush.

568
00:26:34.351 –> 00:26:37.512
I am not worried about outcomes. I’m not setting any long-term goals.

569
00:26:37.611 –> 00:26:41.331
I am literally living in the moment and embracing the moment, and just

570
00:26:41.432 –> 00:26:45.371
enjoying the time getting to know him, him getting to know me, learning about

571
00:26:45.412 –> 00:26:49.232
each other, and just enjoying the space that we have together, while also

572
00:26:49.242 –> 00:26:51.162
enjoying the space that I like to myself.

573
00:26:51.192 –> 00:26:55.042
So, like, it’s like when you think about what you want, I am getting exactly what I

574
00:26:55.132 –> 00:26:57.942
want. So, you know, ’cause I do enjoy my freedom.

575
00:26:58.111 –> 00:27:01.732
I do enjoy, you know, ’cause I’m a busy woman, I’m building this whole career, but

576
00:27:01.812 –> 00:27:05.192
I’m also enjoying having this space with this really lovely human being-

577
00:27:05.472 –> 00:27:05.581
Hey.

578
00:27:05.581 –> 00:27:09.492
… who is bringing out my creativity and encouraging me to do

579
00:27:09.611 –> 00:27:11.662
things, and it’s ju- it’s such a …

580
00:27:11.672 –> 00:27:15.572
I’m like, “This is wha- I, I, there’s no,” like, like, I- I would often

581
00:27:15.672 –> 00:27:19.591
come from a space of desperate. I’m just coming from a space of love and giving

582
00:27:19.601 –> 00:27:23.522
and receiving, and I’m feminine. I’m so feminine with

583
00:27:23.632 –> 00:27:26.581
him, like, you know, not trying to control anything.

584
00:27:26.591 –> 00:27:28.611
And I’m just like, I’m sitting back-

585
00:27:28.620 –> 00:27:29.002
(laughs)

586
00:27:29.002 –> 00:27:30.532
… and he’s like cooking me dinner.

587
00:27:30.572 –> 00:27:33.111
He’s like, you know, “What, what else can I do for you?” I’m like, “Okay.” You

588
00:27:33.152 –> 00:27:34.831
know, it’s just, it’s so nice.

589
00:27:34.851 –> 00:27:35.202
Oh my gosh.

590
00:27:35.252 –> 00:27:37.202
It’s, I’m like, I’m like such a girl and I love it.

591
00:27:37.232 –> 00:27:39.561
I’m like, I’m like just loving this, you know?

592
00:27:39.561 –> 00:27:39.561

593
00:27:39.572 –> 00:27:41.202
And it’s like I know I can … Yeah.

594
00:27:41.252 –> 00:27:45.242
I love that as you were dating, the second time around, after

595
00:27:45.272 –> 00:27:48.762
the program, the quality of men that you were attracting got

596
00:27:48.792 –> 00:27:49.532
better.

597
00:27:49.542 –> 00:27:49.542

598
00:27:49.542 –> 00:27:52.972
Yes. And as you continued to evelo- elevate yourself and show up,

599
00:27:53.351 –> 00:27:56.912
more and more you, you were attracting more and more great

600
00:27:57.091 –> 00:27:57.632
men.

601
00:27:57.641 –> 00:27:57.641

602
00:27:57.652 –> 00:27:59.732
That’s how it works.

603
00:27:59.802 –> 00:27:59.802

604
00:27:59.802 –> 00:28:02.972
Yes. It is a mirror. Like attracts like.

605
00:28:02.992 –> 00:28:06.831
And so, I just love, you just waited until you found

606
00:28:07.712 –> 00:28:11.512
the, all three things, all your, all your boxes checked. It’s all of it.

607
00:28:11.552 –> 00:28:11.942
But you also-

608
00:28:11.952 –> 00:28:12.022
Yeah.

609
00:28:12.022 –> 00:28:15.782
… trusted yourself to know the difference. Right?

610
00:28:15.812 –> 00:28:19.552
There’s a difference between a list on paper and recognizing it in

611
00:28:19.612 –> 00:28:21.081
real life when it’s-

612
00:28:21.091 –> 00:28:21.101
Yes.

613
00:28:21.101 –> 00:28:24.732
… standing in front of you, and that you’re not on the lookout for the red

614
00:28:24.831 –> 00:28:28.002
flags. You just trust yourself if something doesn’t feel right, you’re gonna take

615
00:28:28.032 –> 00:28:31.932
care of it. Or it’s not right, like the, the guy before the one you’re seeing now,

616
00:28:31.972 –> 00:28:34.712
like, it slowly unfolded that it wasn’t right.

617
00:28:35.532 –> 00:28:35.752
Yeah.

618
00:28:35.762 –> 00:28:39.752
You can trust yourself not to sacrifice, not to settle, not

619
00:28:39.792 –> 00:28:42.831
to sell out, and to wait. Um-

620
00:28:42.851 –> 00:28:43.172
Yes.

621
00:28:43.272 –> 00:28:44.572
So, how long has it been then?

622
00:28:45.452 –> 00:28:49.282
So, it’s um, we’re like a couple of months in now, you

623
00:28:49.331 –> 00:28:49.922
know? It’s like maybe-

624
00:28:49.932 –> 00:28:49.962
Yay.

625
00:28:50.012 –> 00:28:53.831
… two and a half months in, and it’s really nice. And I’m having so much fun.

626
00:28:53.871 –> 00:28:57.792
Like, I don’t feel any pressure. And it’s like, I- I’m, and, and the fact, and

627
00:28:57.871 –> 00:28:59.532
I like the slowness of it. You know?

628
00:28:59.552 –> 00:29:03.232
‘Cause I’m just like sh- you know, and I love how there’s no rush.

629
00:29:03.252 –> 00:29:03.302
Yeah.

630
00:29:03.302 –> 00:29:06.952
There’s no where, you know, and I just, and to me, it’s just so exciting.

631
00:29:06.992 –> 00:29:10.831
And then like the other thing, it’s like, you know, the chemistry on all levels

632
00:29:10.891 –> 00:29:12.532
is powerful. Do you know what I mean?

633
00:29:12.572 –> 00:29:12.712
Yes.

634
00:29:12.752 –> 00:29:16.712
You know, we’re s- we’re, we’re singing karaoke and we’re having fun and he’s like,

635
00:29:16.772 –> 00:29:19.922
and he’s like, “Oh, we gotta write a song ’cause I want r- you to record.” We

636
00:29:20.032 –> 00:29:21.612
record you ’cause you have such a lovely voice.

637
00:29:21.652 –> 00:29:23.532
I mean, he’s, he’s adorable, you know?

638
00:29:23.572 –> 00:29:27.411
And so, like I said, he’s bringing out things in me that I’ve always

639
00:29:27.432 –> 00:29:30.882
been aware of but just never really channeled. And he’s like, “No, no.

640
00:29:30.882 –> 00:29:33.952
Let’s do that.” Like, “I have a keyboard in the basement.” He’s like, “Do you play

641
00:29:33.992 –> 00:29:36.481
this?” I’m like, “I want to.” He’s showing me, he’s like, “Oh, why don’t you start

642
00:29:36.492 –> 00:29:38.121
with these chords?” And he’s so cu- you know what I mean?

643
00:29:38.152 –> 00:29:41.636
This like really sweet-Easy little things.

644
00:29:41.676 –> 00:29:45.576
Got me a journal ’cause he knows I love to write, got me these cute little books

645
00:29:45.616 –> 00:29:48.106
on self-care because he’s like, “Oh, your clients might like these.

646
00:29:48.136 –> 00:29:49.986
It might be useful for them.” You know what I mean?

647
00:29:49.986 –> 00:29:52.696
Like just these little thoughtful things, and his heart is good.

648
00:29:52.706 –> 00:29:52.706

649
00:29:52.716 –> 00:29:55.316
And he’s a generous, beautiful human being.

650
00:29:55.376 –> 00:29:59.196
And I’m like, “Oh my God, I’m I… Oh, I’m seeing a mirror here.” You

651
00:29:59.256 –> 00:30:03.156
know, and it’s just really… And I’m like, “Wow.” Amazing when you- and

652
00:30:03.216 –> 00:30:06.656
when you show up in your full, loving, you know,

653
00:30:06.896 –> 00:30:10.696
self, like where you are so like, uh, you know, you are so in in

654
00:30:10.756 –> 00:30:14.636
with yourself and loving yourself, you shine that light out and that’s what you

655
00:30:14.656 –> 00:30:17.546
attract back, and that’s the biggest thing that I’m, that I’m seeing. It’s

656
00:30:17.546 –> 00:30:20.236
amazing. Yeah, well, and you’re not showing up starved for that.

657
00:30:20.256 –> 00:30:20.866
No. No.

658
00:30:20.916 –> 00:30:24.866
So you’re not settling, and you’re not in a rush because you already have

659
00:30:24.896 –> 00:30:26.226
what you need. So he’s just-

660
00:30:26.236 –> 00:30:26.806
Yes.

661
00:30:26.806 –> 00:30:29.496
… like you are your own reward in all of this.

662
00:30:29.536 –> 00:30:29.776
Yeah.

663
00:30:29.796 –> 00:30:32.405
He’s just the, the cherry on top really.

664
00:30:32.916 –> 00:30:35.085
He really is. And the thing is, is like if it doesn’t…

665
00:30:35.216 –> 00:30:38.836
I don’t care if it works out or not, I’m gonna be fine ’cause I’ve got me.

666
00:30:38.936 –> 00:30:42.626
I have my best friend. I have my BFF. You know, that’s what it is. It’s like…

667
00:30:42.656 –> 00:30:45.676
And knowing that, it is so freeing.

668
00:30:45.695 –> 00:30:49.596
You’re like, “Okay.” So you could just be in the present and enjoy what you

669
00:30:49.636 –> 00:30:51.986
have instead of like, “Well, what about this and what about that?” I had a friend,

670
00:30:52.016 –> 00:30:54.706
she’s like, “Well, what about, what about…” I’m like, “Why don’t you take your

671
00:30:54.756 –> 00:30:57.916
projections and take a deep breath? I don’t care,” you know?

672
00:30:57.936 –> 00:30:58.206
(laughs)

673
00:30:58.206 –> 00:30:58.206

674
00:30:58.236 –> 00:30:59.896
I’m like, “I’m not worried about it.” So yeah.

675
00:30:59.936 –> 00:31:03.776
Oh my God. Well, I feel so lucky that you crossed

676
00:31:03.936 –> 00:31:06.776
our path because you were the perfect client for us.

677
00:31:06.796 –> 00:31:10.736
This is my favorite outcome, of course, and that now

678
00:31:11.176 –> 00:31:14.676
you get to come be a part of our team and help other women rock the

679
00:31:14.716 –> 00:31:18.436
journey and get to the place where they feel as amazing about themselves as you

680
00:31:18.496 –> 00:31:22.406
do about yours, so… Is there anything that you wanna say to anybody who’s

681
00:31:22.436 –> 00:31:25.836
listening who’s on the fence and they’re thinking, “Oh, should I, shouldn’t I?

682
00:31:25.876 –> 00:31:29.396
What if it doesn’t work for me?” Or, I don’t know, maybe it’s too

683
00:31:29.436 –> 00:31:33.396
scary or… Like what words of wisdom do you have now that you’re on

684
00:31:33.416 –> 00:31:34.256
the other side?

685
00:31:34.276 –> 00:31:37.776
For those of you who are like questioning, just imagine

686
00:31:38.916 –> 00:31:41.436
a whole new world for yourself because again, it

687
00:31:41.516 –> 00:31:45.236
is… (sighs) I c- I, I could cry how

688
00:31:45.296 –> 00:31:48.906
beautiful it… Like you, it… Don’t waste the ti- if…

689
00:31:48.916 –> 00:31:52.716
The time is now. If you’re on the fence, cross over the fence,

690
00:31:52.756 –> 00:31:56.036
let the courage take, grip, grip the hand of your fear and walk

691
00:31:56.076 –> 00:31:59.766
together into that light because, you know, it’s like, that’s what…

692
00:31:59.796 –> 00:32:03.216
Your life will change. If you’re ready to show up, like when you are ready to show

693
00:32:03.276 –> 00:32:07.036
up, your whole life is gonna change in such a way that you

694
00:32:07.076 –> 00:32:10.856
will be like this force of love and nature that is

695
00:32:10.896 –> 00:32:14.556
going to attract exactly what you want and exactly what you deserve.

696
00:32:14.616 –> 00:32:16.506
That is what I’m… That is what you’re gonna get out of this.

697
00:32:16.556 –> 00:32:20.036
You are gonna attract the most amazing human beings, not just people you’re

698
00:32:20.076 –> 00:32:23.616
dating, but other human beings are gonna come into your life that are absolutely

699
00:32:23.636 –> 00:32:24.936
magnificent. So that’s what it is.

700
00:32:24.956 –> 00:32:28.116
It’s like you show up in your authentic true

701
00:32:28.256 –> 00:32:32.085
self, where you’re just like everything is… It’s, it’s like you’re like a…

702
00:32:32.085 –> 00:32:35.316
It’s like you’re like superpower and you’re showing up in your full self-

703
00:32:35.336 –> 00:32:35.636
Mm-hmm.

704
00:32:35.796 –> 00:32:37.516
… and that’s what this program has done.

705
00:32:37.696 –> 00:32:41.176
I show up fully and completely myself. I take up space.

706
00:32:41.236 –> 00:32:45.056
I am proud to take up space in this world, and I love the love that I

707
00:32:45.096 –> 00:32:47.556
shine out, that I have from within that just shines out.

708
00:32:47.596 –> 00:32:48.116
So it’s just been-

709
00:32:48.126 –> 00:32:49.916
Yeah, take up space, girl. Take it up.

710
00:32:50.216 –> 00:32:52.236
Yeah, yeah, damn right I take up space. You know, I love it.

711
00:32:52.246 –> 00:32:52.256
Yes.

712
00:32:52.296 –> 00:32:54.886
I’m here, you know. I’m alive, and I want…

713
00:32:54.916 –> 00:32:58.556
And this, and this also gets you to live your life as full, to the fullest.

714
00:32:58.566 –> 00:32:58.566

715
00:32:58.596 –> 00:33:01.796
You wanna live fully. This will teach you how to live fully.

716
00:33:01.865 –> 00:33:01.865

717
00:33:01.916 –> 00:33:02.286
You know?

718
00:33:02.286 –> 00:33:02.286

719
00:33:02.316 –> 00:33:03.966
Nothing’s holding me back. Yeah, that’s what…

720
00:33:03.996 –> 00:33:06.826
You live fully, and you like, you live fully ’cause that’s the thing.

721
00:33:06.856 –> 00:33:10.636
Like after like Todd died, there was a time I was like, I was ready to take myself

722
00:33:10.696 –> 00:33:14.216
out, but there was a moment I woke up and I was like, “No, I, I wanna live.

723
00:33:14.276 –> 00:33:16.296
I want to live.” And this is living.

724
00:33:16.316 –> 00:33:19.936
This is absolute living, where there’s nothing holding you back and-

725
00:33:19.946 –> 00:33:19.946

726
00:33:19.946 –> 00:33:23.726
Yay. … and your job. And like my whole career is just launching, like, “I

727
00:33:23.756 –> 00:33:27.476
am, I am…” Like there’s opportunities just in abundance coming my

728
00:33:27.496 –> 00:33:30.456
way, and that’s what it is. I have the abundance mindset.

729
00:33:30.476 –> 00:33:32.296
That’s the other thing. There’s no scarcity.

730
00:33:32.336 –> 00:33:34.636
I’m like, “Uh-uh, there’s enough for all of us. There’s enough for me.

731
00:33:34.656 –> 00:33:36.266
There’s enough to go around.”

732
00:33:36.276 –> 00:33:36.346
Yeah.

733
00:33:36.346 –> 00:33:40.126
So there’s so many… When I tell you, as I keep talking about, oh my God, there’s

734
00:33:40.156 –> 00:33:43.196
so much more that we keep on earthing that I got out of this program.

735
00:33:43.256 –> 00:33:44.296
So it is just

736
00:33:45.336 –> 00:33:47.386
holy shit if you

737
00:33:47.416 –> 00:33:49.716
It is a masterpiece, I have to say. Like some of my-

738
00:33:49.756 –> 00:33:51.986
Yeah, you should probably put yourself a giant…

739
00:33:51.986 –> 00:33:51.986

740
00:33:52.016 –> 00:33:52.486
Yeah, yeah.

741
00:33:52.936 –> 00:33:56.076
They’re like, “You, you put too much in there.” I’m like, “No, we’re solving the

742
00:33:56.096 –> 00:33:56.546
problem.”

743
00:33:56.546 –> 00:33:56.546

744
00:33:56.546 –> 00:33:57.256
No, you didn’t. “Whatever it takes.”

745
00:33:57.296 –> 00:33:58.116
No, you didn’t.

746
00:33:58.156 –> 00:33:58.236
Yeah.

747
00:33:58.275 –> 00:34:02.176
And women go back. I went back and rewatched several videos and things like

748
00:34:02.236 –> 00:34:05.516
that. There was, there’s a video, I think it’s module six or seven, like when

749
00:34:05.536 –> 00:34:07.796
you’re out doing, going out on a date.

750
00:34:07.856 –> 00:34:11.206
You do like this awesome, like you’re a badass or whatever, and I’m like, I’m like,

751
00:34:11.206 –> 00:34:13.806
“Yeah.” And I would listen to it before I would go out on a date, like you know,

752
00:34:13.836 –> 00:34:17.246
just channel your inner femininity and your sexual, all that stuff, and I would

753
00:34:17.275 –> 00:34:20.386
just wa- And I’m getting ready and I’m listening to it, I’m like, “Yeah.”

754
00:34:20.386 –> 00:34:20.386

755
00:34:20.516 –> 00:34:24.216
It was just… You know, I mean all, like, I mean literally, you thought of

756
00:34:24.356 –> 00:34:28.176
everything. How about that? You thought of everything from start to finish.

757
00:34:28.235 –> 00:34:28.396
Yeah.

758
00:34:28.436 –> 00:34:30.235
So and it was, this was so

759
00:34:31.275 –> 00:34:34.196
beautifully, cleverly, brilliantly pieced together.

760
00:34:34.255 –> 00:34:38.156
Yay. Well, I describe it as an all you can eat buffet, like a smorgasbord, and

761
00:34:38.216 –> 00:34:42.056
you definitely came hungry and you gorged on all the goodness

762
00:34:42.216 –> 00:34:42.556
and-

763
00:34:42.596 –> 00:34:42.686
I did.

764
00:34:42.686 –> 00:34:45.775
… it shows. So like thank you so much for

765
00:34:46.716 –> 00:34:49.376
coming into this, doing the work for yourself.

766
00:34:49.416 –> 00:34:53.296
I’m so happy for you, and then also for sharing your story for all

767
00:34:53.356 –> 00:34:54.536
the listeners today.

768
00:34:54.596 –> 00:34:55.036
Thank you.

769
00:34:55.076 –> 00:34:58.476
It’s just beautiful, and I hope everybody listening is happy for you.

770
00:34:58.496 –> 00:35:02.196
It’s like palpable. You’re jumping off the screen as we’re talking

771
00:35:02.236 –> 00:35:06.196
on, on Zoom and, um, yeah, my cheeks still hurt,

772
00:35:06.296 –> 00:35:06.916
so… (laughs)

773
00:35:06.926 –> 00:35:09.716
Yeah. No, no, thank you. This is awesome.

774
00:35:09.896 –> 00:35:10.086
Yeah.

775
00:35:10.086 –> 00:35:11.196
On so many levels, but yay.

776
00:35:11.296 –> 00:35:11.976
Yay.

777
00:35:11.986 –> 00:35:11.986

778
00:35:12.016 –> 00:35:15.446
Well, I know I get to talk to you more now that you’re part of our team, but um,

779
00:35:15.496 –> 00:35:18.916
I’m so excited to, you know, have you, and if anybody is listening and you

780
00:35:18.996 –> 00:35:20.676
wanna take the next steps, just go to

781
00:35:20.696 –> 00:35:24.676
readyforloveinc.com/apply. Fill out an

782
00:35:24.736 –> 00:35:28.216
application to talk to us, and you might be our next client that Charlene gets to

783
00:35:28.256 –> 00:35:30.136
work with. So yay!

784
00:35:30.176 –> 00:35:30.626
Yay.

785
00:35:30.976 –> 00:35:32.296
So thanks for being here.

786
00:35:32.306 –> 00:35:32.326
Thank

787
00:35:32.326 –> 00:35:35.036
you so much. We’ll see you next time.

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